hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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