I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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