stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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