this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize