she looked like the before picture.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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