I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
