I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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