So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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