AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
