Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
