walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
