Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
