i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
