plz talk dirty to me
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize