Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just high enough for therapy.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
