I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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