i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
