He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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