I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize