The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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