Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
