he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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