taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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