It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
