Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
