ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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