i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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