Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Sober January is a disaster.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
you told grandpa to call you daddy
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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