It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
