Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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