I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
