I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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