Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
