? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
