Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
