Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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