Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I've blown a few things in my day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
