Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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