i just google imaged poop.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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