apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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