Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
