I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
My balls are so social today.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
