i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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