we have pet lesbian snakes
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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