I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
