i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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