I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
