you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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