I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
