No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
