i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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