my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
