Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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