Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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