once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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