Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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