yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
