I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
