just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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