So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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