I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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