So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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