Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
