The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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