and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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