Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
