In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize