DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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