I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
