remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
