you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
