just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
