She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I have fence marks all over my body
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
