I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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