ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
